TOP CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:
01 Chuck Norris does not
sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the
probability of failure. Chuck
Norris goes killing.
03 Chuck Norris' blood
type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks,
and fighter jets.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
05 A Chuck
Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution
in 16 states.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
07 If you Google Chuck
Norris and click "I'm feeling Lucky" it will return zero results.
self lucky Chuck does not know you are looking for him, because he will
find you first.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon
realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he
went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
09 Chuck Norris played
Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
CHUCK NORRIS, go ahead and admit it, just seeing his name in bold made
you pee a little.
11 Chuck Norris always
has sex on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
13 Science Fact:
Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called
Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
15 That's not Chuck
Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from
the path of
a deadly asteroid.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris
calls the pile of dead ninjas in his
17 Chuck Norris doesn't
read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his
19 Chuck Norris knows
everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
21 Chuck Norris
isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up
with lactose’s shit.
Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord.
23 When an episode of
Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to
just to be on the safe side.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to
downplay his abilities. The
first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
25 If at first you don't
succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
CHUCK NORRIS PRODUCTS (that
did not sell):
01 Chuck Norris Ultimate
Fighter for PS3.
Reason: It was too realistic, everyone
was afraid to play it.
Chuck Norris magic 8-ball.
Reason: The only answer was "A
03 Chuck Norris condoms.
Reason: They only fit Chuck Norris, no
one else measured up.
Chuck Norris energy drink.
Reason: Only Chuck Norris can drink
05 Chuck Norris
Reason: Not many people like ground up
Ninja bones and raisins.